Why is my life filled with questions I don't know the answers to? And why are the few answers I have filled with more questions?
Do you like your job?
Are you moving back to Oklahoma?
Are you staying in Florida?
What are you going to do with your degree?
Are you going to graduate school?
Do you want to work at Disney longer?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Scratch that, Where do you see yourself in 5 months?
What do you want do in this world?
Where are you going to apply for jobs?
I lied before. I have an answer to every single one of those questions. And it's the same one.
I. Don't. Know.
I'm tired of not knowing. It's not like I haven't thought about it. I've thought about my future obsessively. It's just that I can't decide what I want at all. It's awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Today I want to be in Oklahoma so badly and not come back to Florida ever. I love being surrounded by people who love me and understand me completely. Not that some people here don't understand me. It's just a different feeling. A different comfort level. I miss our sleepovers. I miss just climbing into someone's bed and talking about all our problems until it seemed like they didn't matter anymore. Maybe I should just move home in May and deal with everything else then. But I'm afraid of getting stuck. I didn't go to college to get stuck. I don't know really what I went there for, but I know it was to go somewhere. To not stay home with mommy. I feel like my life is passing me by. How do I get back on track? See! Another question! UGH!
"I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world"
"A Place in This World" - Taylor Swift
Why can't every day be like this day?
or this one?